The Impossibility of Doing It All

Let’s be brutally honest about what we’re trying to accomplish during the holidays. We think we can continue our regular homeschool routine AND buy, make, and wrap all the presents AND bake cookies for exchanges AND participate in church or community Christmas programs AND taxi kids to all the practices AND get the house ready for visiting family AND stay sane.

It’s just not possible.

It’s hard enough to homeschool and keep up with everything during normal everyday life, so why do we think we can add a mountain of extras to our to-do list without completely losing it? When your stress level begins to rise—and it will—you need to stop and ask yourself: “Do I really need to do this? If so, why? Can someone else do this instead of me?”

This is where a plan actually helps. I know, I know—planning sounds like one more thing to add to the list. But trust me, take one evening this week and map out what you absolutely need to do during November and December. When will you have Christmas shopping done? When are guests coming? When are the holiday program rehearsals and performances? Get it all on the calendar, because if you’re like me, if it’s not written down, you’ll either double book yourself or forget it entirely.

Then here’s the crucial part: Say no to some things. Many things. Delegate to older children who can help. Don’t try to do it all.

The Homeschool Question Nobody Wants to Ask

Now comes the question that might feel like homeschool heresy: How much schoolwork really needs to be done between Thanksgiving and Christmas?

There are typically three weeks between the end of Thanksgiving weekend and a few days before Christmas. It is very hard to do school during this time. No matter the age of my children, it was almost impossible to keep our normal homeschool rhythm going during those weeks.

I tried. Oh, how I tried! Every year I attempted to march on with the regular school routine. Every year I told myself, “Maybe this year I can do it.” Every year I failed. It was impossible for me to keep the normal homeschool routine, and I was always so stressed. It frustrated me that the time of year that was supposed to be full of cheer, love, and giving was the time I felt most overwhelmed.

It took me years to give up the schoolbooks during the holidays. Years of trying and failing before I finally gave myself permission to do something radical.

The Solution That Changed Everything

Many years back, I made a decision: I would completely stop formal teaching—our normal homeschool routine—right before Thanksgiving and not start up until after the new year.

Some years during those December weeks, I would do a couple hours of school in the morning at most. Other years, we stopped any type of formal school altogether. And here’s what you need to know: Even without doing any school during December some years, my children all graduated from high school, went on to college, and are amazing adults.

You are the teacher. You get to decide when, where, and how “school” will happen. Did you know that in almost every survey where homeschool moms are asked what the hardest month to homeschool is, they say December? You’re not alone in this struggle. And did you know that public school teachers think they did a great job if they get through 80% of a textbook by the end of the year?

Maybe your sanity is worth going a week longer next semester than you had planned. Maybe taking a real break now and schooling year-round with more breaks throughout the year is actually the best thing for your family.

If you’re a long-time homeschooler still trying to power through December the same way you do every year, even though it never works, remember what Einstein said: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

When You Still Want to “Do School”

Now, I’m not saying we did nothing educational during the holidays. The “school” we did during this time just looked different—it happened through crafts, cooking, baking, shopping, and reading. And yes, being the homeschool mom I am, I had to sneak in a little math too.

If you want to continue some type of learning during these weeks, replace your regular school subjects with holiday-themed activities. Better yet, remove subjects altogether that you can easily catch up on in January.

Include your children in purchasing gifts—they’ll learn budgeting, saving, and spending. Have them make some gifts, turning arts and crafts time into productive learning. Try a couple of those holiday-themed science experiments from Pinterest. Bake Christmas cookies and desserts together for home economics, and sharpen math skills by having them make recipes 1.5 or 2.5 times the original amount.

Read Thanksgiving and Christmas themed books together. Big kids and little kids alike love being read to, especially when they know it replaces a school subject they weren’t thrilled about doing anyway. Or have one of the older children read aloud to practice their skills.

All of these activities count as learning. All of them create memories. None of them require workbooks or lesson plans or the stress of keeping up with a formal curriculum.

What This Season Is Really About

In my 33 years of marriage and 22 years of homeschooling, I’ve learned that we as parents need to be the living examples of how and why Christmas is celebrated.

It’s not about how many presents are under the tree, how much you get done, how incredible your Christmas dinner turns out, or whether your house looks as festive as your neighbor’s. Children learn so much more from what they see lived out in our lives than they ever will from our words.

If this season is the most difficult and stressful time of year for you, give yourself a break. Try something different. My solution may not be perfect for your family—it may even create its own challenges. But whatever you choose to do, make sure it’s something that is simple, easy, and enjoyable for the whole family.

This is so much better than having a breakdown and crying in the bathroom. I know from experience.

Don’t ruin the holiday spirit and the atmosphere of your home by being majorly stressed out. Your children will remember the joy, the laughter, the cookies baked together, and the stories read by the fire. They won’t remember whether you finished chapter 12 in the math book before Christmas break.

Give yourself permission to do less. Give yourself permission to enjoy more. The holidays are a gift—unwrap them with your family.